Let’s get the ball rolling with this interview. The purpose of this interview is to explore the psychological mindset, obstacles, personal truths you are currently overcoming to attain your goals. I really appreciate this interview, I think it will speak volumes to people who struggle with their weight loss. You have truly inspired me as a trainer, your current weight loss of 16lbs and 7% bodyfat in 24 sessions of training is nothing short of AWESOME!!!
I thank you again for opening your life and allowing me as well as others to read about your hurdles as it pertains to lifestyle change, personal struggles, and long term love affairs with Jenny Craig and Weight Watchers. If your story helps one person mission accomplished, So without further adieu …here we go!
MARC: Abby, I know you wear many hats in everyday life…can you explain the many roles you have from family, job, etc.?
ABBY:I have my own home-based business which I started while employed as a Strategic Account Manager for the former MCI Telecommunications where I was employed for 15 years. I have since left that to pursue my business on a full time basis. In that role, I act as a leader, coach and friend to those on my team and am available 24/7 to them for any of their needs, while still maintaining the revenue stream necessary to support my business. I am married and a mother of two kids: a boy who is 5 and a girl who is 3.
MARC: I remember our first consultation together, you came in arms crossed very guarded and protected, I knew I was dealing with someone who was very reluctant. My goal the first time we met was to give you some insight about your current training/nutrition program and why that might be sub par. I also wanted to set expectations going forward, I tend to be a little forthright in a first consultation….kind of a test to see how serious that person really is. I also wanted to hear exactly what you needed from me. What made you inquire about personal training and what made the most sense about our first consultation together if anything??..or did you think I was a total crackpot?
ABBY: You are right. I came in extremely reluctantly in this endeavor for several reasons.
First, I initially pursued this because I was persuaded to do so by someone who worked at the gym. I had inquired about having someone show me how to use the equipment, because as I understood it, an orientation to the weights/machines was part of my membership. Many people had told me that I should try using weights and that would help me in my “efforts” to lose weight, get toned, etc…The last thing I wanted to do was use the weights or machines, and I knew full well that I would not pursue using them after being shown, but I knew nothing I was doing was working for me so I was reaching for another alternative half-heartedly. The person said she would be more than happy to show me how to use the weights but highly recommended that I get a personal trainer, because they would be just that – personal. They would work with me, determine what my goals were, and set up a program that was specific to my needs and desires. I told her I was very hesitant to do that, which isn’t typically my nature. I am not usually one to not try something, but I was for some reason extremely intimidated to do that in this case. In thinking about it, it was probably because I assumed that I was going to fail, and I am one who thrives on success. If I know that success may be questionable, than avoidance is the next best option. That said, I reluctantly agreed to give it ONE session, and see how it went.
Another reason I was guarded at our first meeting is because I didn’t think that you and I got off to a good start – I just didn’t think our personalities were going to mesh well at first. I was extremely intimidated about this whole endeavor, and while understanding that this was a business transaction of sorts, I still was looking for a comfort zone – maybe a safety net or something to get me over being in an extremely uncomfortable situation. Maybe the “personal” part of personal training. I think I needed some hand-holding to get me over the emotional hump of even looking into this (an unfair expectation for a first meeting.) If I am being completely honest with myself, though, in retrospect, I didn’t want this to get off to a good start because I didn’t want to do it. I think I was looking for every reason to make this not happen. In my mind, I came up with every excuse why this wasn’t going to work, and I guess it manifested itself in the appearance of a bad attitude. That said, after the first few sessions, I felt completely different, and I am extremely comfortable now (except when you make me do things that make me look like an idiot…like the Spiderman thing…)
I was completely turned off by the food journal and will go into that in greater detail later, but just add that to the list of excuses why this was not going to work for me.
But lastly, if I am being completely honest, I think I was exceptionally disappointed in myself for having to be there in the first place. I really felt like a failure, at least in this area. I am a highly successful person. I work really hard at things and most often succeed at them. I am one who regards pride as a very important trait, and in things like my career(s), I am very proud of my accomplishments. This area, not so proud. I “thought” I had all the tools to be successful in maintaining a good weight/body, and while I have come to learn through this experience that they weren’t the best tools for me, what I did have, and what I was successful with in the past, I wasn’t using. I let myself go, and I am not proud of that at all. So to have to sit there and hear what I was dealing with, what I had to work on, and “where I had failed” (in my mind), was way out of my comfort zone. I was ashamed of myself.
That all said, you asked what made the most sense about our first consultation together if anything, or did I think you were a total crackpot…? What impressed me the most with our first meeting was your confidence in yourself and your program. I left there with a sense that you truly believed that I could be successful if I followed what you suggested. You were very self-assured about what could be done, and while I doubted myself and/or what you were telling me, your conviction sold me on giving this a try. I would only want to work with someone who was sure of themselves and you were/are. I was impressed with your knowledge about nutrition and exercise, and I got the sense that you took your career very seriously. I was also impressed with your business acumen. Because of those things I left our meeting with the thought that this was worth a try.
I still think you are a total crackpot though…
MARC: After that first trial training session, how long did it take for you to realize that you wanted to work with Optimal Results?
ABBY: I think it was after the fourth session that I really started to warm up to this whole thing. That was also the time that I saw my first results so I was gaining some confidence in the program. Two things stick out to me that made me know for sure that I wanted to work with you personally on an on-going basis. The first is the infamous food journal. Again, I will get to that later, but in my opinion, I feel that you go above and beyond when reviewing that and give me feedback. That impresses me. But the day of decision for me was when you gave me the encouragement that I needed when I didn’t have the results I wanted on one assessment. I’ll talk about this later, but I really got the sense that you were engaged in my success and you gave me what I needed to help me keep going. That was a definite turning point for me. Plus, I like you a lot and enjoy our sessions together, and I think that is an important part of this.
MARC: In 15 years of being a coach I think I have developed a sense of how serious someone is about success. I am often surprised at how many people come in expecting to show up for an hour a few times per week and think that’s all its going to take to be successful. As you know I am HUGE on making exercise and living a healthy lifestyle an extension of who they are. Can you please share your obstacles in the first few weeks of training and how you broke through them?
ABBY: This is hard for me to answer, because I can’t put my finger on it exactly. I really think all the ingredients in this recipe were there and it just made sense to me. I have learned a tremendous amount from you as it relates to food and healthy living, and it’s like a light bulb of sorts went off for me. I am doing things I have never done before in following this program, and it is working. Because of that I just keep going. The food journal was an obstacle for me because I knew that significant changes were going to be necessary and I wasn’t sure I was ready for that or willing to take that on. But, those changes worked and when I am faced with eating something or not eating something, I remember that nothing tastes better than success and feeling/looking good. That said, I have my indiscretions but for the first time I don’t feel guilty. They are not often and they are part of life.
The training part… well, where do I start? As you recall, I couldn’t do much of anything when we started and I wouldn’t say I am ready for competition as of yet , but I say to myself when I am having a hard time that I can get through these last few pull ups or these last 20 seconds in a rotation – I just tell myself to focus because anyone can do something for 20 more seconds. I just tell myself to do my very best (and a little more), and if I can’t do something, then I will maybe be able to do it next time. I do know that I am getting better and better at these things, and that keeps me pressing on.
The accountability factor in breaking through the obstacles, for me, is HUGE! In my opinion, this makes all the difference. I am being held accountable for what I eat and what I do when I am in and out of the gym. This is perhaps the biggest thing for me. I don’t miss training sessions, because in my mind, I am held to being there. You are waiting for me to show up. I rarely miss working out on my off days because I am being held accountable to work this program even when I am not working with you on a given day. I don’t have too many flaws in my eating because it is being looked at. This is significant for me. I hope to get to the point where I don’t need this as as much of a crutch as it is for me today, but for now, I will take it because it helps me tremendously.
MARC: In your second assessment we did your bodyweight and body fat and you did not see the numbers on the scale or drops in body fat that you hoped for, why made you break through that barrier and push forward while most would have given up?
ABBY: This was my toughest day. I was EXTREMELY disappointed and upset this day. In my mind, those results were just not possible given all the work I was doing. Just not possible. I wanted to give up. I felt I had sacrificed a tremendous amount for this program and where were my results? This went on for the entire weekend. After being talked off the ledge by a few of my friends, I realized that maybe I was being a little hard on myself and there were many possible reasons why I didn’t see what I was expecting. Normally, I would have had a round of emotional eating to “fix” this, but this time, I just didn’t. I had to take several things into consideration. I just got back from a vacation, where I was not flawless, but I was really, really good given my history. It could have been water weight. It could have been the day. Many things. I just had to stay focused and not get crazy. Then I got mad. I was working hard and it WAS going to pay off. That was it. I was not going to let all this hard work go to waste and just like I try to remember in my career, keep the end result in mind, but do not focus on it. Enjoy the journey, work hard, and you will get your results in time.
MARC: What is your current exercise and nutrition program to date and how do you find the time to balance your fitness with being a mom ,career woman, etc.?
ABBY: I eat about 6 times a day. Three meals and three snacks if I can, and journal it all to watch what I am doing. I am focused, per your guidance, on a protein diet with low concentration on carbs. I have practically eliminated traditional carbs form my diet, and get most of them from fruits and vegetables. I do my best to make sure if I do have carbs, that I have protein with them. I try to have something of color with every meal (fruits/vegetables). I am working on spreading out my protein appropriately during the day to get the right balance and I have been working to get to at least 72 ounces of water in a day. I have added an essential fatty acid dietary supplement to my day as well.
I work with you three times a week (Monday, Wednesday and Friday). I do the Interval Training regimen that you gave me at home on my treadmill, typically 3 times a week on the other days. It is about 35-40 minutes of time. On occasion, I will take a spinning or cardio class at the gym in replacement for an Interval Training or sometimes in addition to. I have made this program a priority for myself, so I make sure it fits in to my schedule. This is extremely important to me, so I have put some other things on the back burner, and reshuffled my days, especially my training days to make sure that I get this in. I need it, and I want it, so I make it work. My family and friends understand how important this is to me and how dedicated I am, so they make concessions.
MARC: I tried something new with you that I have never done before with any of my clients, I had you journal your food everyday and provided feedback for you via email on a daily basis…in fact I am blown away that after 8 weeks of training together you never missed a day of journaling…how important do you think this is and how has it helped you?
ABBY: Ah the food journal… where do I begin??? Well, the food journal was my nemesis at the beginning. As a matter of fact, at our first meeting when you mentioned that you wanted me to keep a food journal, if you could have heard the aftermath of that in a conversation with my friend, you wouldn’t have been happy. “I am NOT doing a food journal! This is not what I am paying for! I know how to eat! I am just not doing it right! I don’t need to write this all down! Who does he think he is? A food journal! You must be kidding! All I want to do is learn how to use the machines! This is not happening! I am NOT doing a food journal, and this whole training thing is NOT going to work out!”… My friend suggested I calm down and just give it a try to see what happens…
Well, I LOVE MY FOOD JOURNAL! It has been a tremendous help for me in this pursuit. I have become so much more aware of things and this definitely keeps me on track. Getting used to it was not easy, but I have to say, now that I am accustomed to it, I live by my food journal, and I see sticking with this for a long time to keep myself on the right path.
You have been tremendously helpful to me in this area and I am blown away by your willingness to continue to review it, make suggestions, and just tweak things to see that I stay on the right path that’s best for me. Because I don’t have experience in this area, I do not know, but I feel that you have gone above and beyond in this area by sticking with me on this and I truly appreciate it. I think this just adds to the whole picture of why I am so extremely happy with working with you and your program.
MARC: How long have you been struggling with your weight and what is different with the Optimal Results Program?
ABBY: I have been struggling with my weight since my freshman year in college. The dreaded Freshmen 20! Yes, I gained it. It was all emotional eating that year and I kept that going for a while. I lost it all when I was 21 through Weight Watchers and managed to keep it off for several years. I gained it back again and lost it again – this time through Jenny Craig, and kept it off for the most part until the last 7 years or so. (Jenny Craig and I have had a long term, off and on relationship… We broke up for good about a year ago. Then I reconciled with Weight Watchers, and we began dating for a short time. I broke up with them too, and just decided eating was easiest…) It seemed that over the last 7 years or so, my “new normal” weight was about 10 more pounds than it used to be, and then when I quit my job to work my home-based business, I gained another 8 pounds!
The difference with your program for me is that it just makes perfect sense. You recommend a good combination of everyday (healthy) foods to compliment an exercise program that combines varied strength training and fat burning, and you do get “optimal results”. You had stated that sometimes you have to alter what you are doing by way of exercise because your body can get used to a certain routine and get to where it becomes ineffective. Your program is very comprehensive from my perspective because you share what foods you can eat but more importantly you explain how to combine them appropriately and how to spread them out so you do get the best results. It does not involve pre-packaged food, or programs where I can eat whatever I want as long as it correlates with a point system. After you gave me your thoughts on those programs, something just clicked, and I realized that everything you were saying made sense, and that not only were those other programs not good for me, they were actually bad for me. I was losing weight when I followed them diligently, but it was not long term and I always reverted back to my bad habits when left to my own devices. What your program has shown me is that I can have a normal life while still maintaining a healthy lifestyle.
It is obvious that you have spent a lot of time studying and you keep up with continuing education to keep yourself current in your field of expertise. You also seem to have an alternative approach to healthy living which I think adds a great deal to your program.
Your personal involvement in this program for me has been tremendous as well. You really demonstrate your desire to see me accomplish the results I want and you have been extremely patient which I appreciate greatly.
MARC: Being someone who has struggled repeatedly with their weight why do you think most people are not successful in maintaining a healthy weight?
ABBY: I think a lot of it is emotional. I think you have to get to a point where you are ready to move forward and do something to make a change. But what is even harder is the maintenance part. For me, I would lose the weight and then become cocky in thinking that I have lost my weight, I can have some fun now. I would start to eat with my old bad habits, not exercise as much and slowly but surely the weight would creep back. I think you have to have a mindset that you have worked really hard to get to a point of success and I think you have to be humble enough to work at keeping it. I think you also have to remember that the taste of success is so much sweeter than all the junk that got you to a bad scene in the first place. Lastly, I think you have to get to the source of why you are doing things that are bad for you. Are you on a road of destruction for something that is deep down that you are covering up by emotional eating or lack of activity? I think when you can determine what that is, it will help you steer clear of obstacles down the road. I think you have to have a clear head, and take the time to discover the reasons behind your actions. That is a very hard thing to do.
MARC: Abby, you have truly been the model student. I have been very impressed with your work ethic and your desire to succeed, is there anything you would like to add in closing? Are there any words that you might have for someone who is thinking about starting a personal training/coaching program but might feel intimidated or think they cant justify the cost?
ABBY: I would encourage anyone who has entertained the thought of pursuing a personal training program to go for it, and if they do, find the right trainer. This is key! You are going to work with this person on a short or long term, but intensive, basis, and they need to be dedicated to your success and have your best interest in mind.
It was very scary for me to do this (and I get scared every Monday, Wednesday and Friday wondering what kind of crazy “alternative” plan you have in store for me for that day), but I always leave so happy that I went in for my session. It is intimidating to have someone assess you, tell you where you need improvement, where your habits have led you astray, etc… but in the end it is a learning experience that can only lead to good things; if nothing else, it will make you more informed of alternative choices you can make to lead to a healthier life.
Personal Training is not inexpensive, but you have to remember this is an investment in YOU! You are paying for something in the short term that will pay off in dividends down the road. It is comparable to buying a stock. You live without the money at the beginning, but it doubles and triples as time goes on. You have to sacrifice something for a reward. There is no better reward than feeling good health-wise and feeling good about yourself. I can’t think of a better place to invest my money and time.
I truly believe that this has been a team effort. I could not have achieved these preliminary accomplishments without your involvement. I am more than thankful for your help with this. I do feel that you have gone above and beyond what I think of when I think of traditional personal training. You have really been so dedicated to guiding me down the right path, and I am really happy that I have had the opportunity to work with you.
MARC: Abby, thanks for your time. I thank you for being an open book. I look forward to helping you with all your fitness goals in the future!
